It was a brisk evening and Sunnydale was completely still. Angel was not concerned with details at this time, his only priority was Buffy and her health. Tears stung his cheeks as fear took over his senses. "What if it's too late?" He forced the thought out of his mind as quickly as it had entered. He had to remain level headed, but how could he? He was having a hard enough time finding his way through a town he had lived in for two years, how could he stay calm while the one woman he had ever truly loved was in critical condition.

Sunnydale general was busy tonight, the commotion in the waiting room was overwhelming when Angel entered with a wounded Buffy gathered in his arms. An intern working behind the desk immediately took notice of the severity of Buffy's condition and hurried over to the hysterical Angel. "What happened?" she asked inquisitively and with fear in her voice. "I.... I don't know. Please...." Angel's eyes never left Buffy's face. He couldn't fathom any of the events that had occured. The nurse felt an unbelievable sense of sympathy for Angel, he looked as though his entire world had shattered. "Over here!" she called to a group of peramedics entering the hospital. "Get her to a room, now!" her voice was shrill and filled with urgency. Angel clung to Buffy for dear life, he did not want to let her go, not ever! "No...." he protested. The peramedics eased Buffy out of his arms as he collapsed into a fit of sobs. To the casual observer this scene appeared overly pathetic, and somewhat unsettling, but to anyone who knew the depths of Angel's feelings for Buffy the situation was real, and unsettling still.

Angel walked along side Buffy's gurney as it rolled through the many corridors of the hospital. His eyes locked on her tiny, helpless physique and his hand remained clasped in hers. The doctors made several attempts to persuade him into staying in the waiting room but he would have none of it. Finally they reached a large double door where a young male intern pushed Angel away. "I'm sorry but the doctor's must take over now." Angel struggled against the nieve worker, his anger rising to the surface.... "no!" his words were harsh and frightening. The intern retreated quickly but an older and obviously wiser doctor arrived to the scene. "It's for her own good; she needs to be tended to properly. You do want the very best for her?" he asked as more of an observation than a question. All Angel could do was nod, he was still in a state of shock and at a loss for words.

Angel was never one for hospital's but this was no time for him to be choosy. He sat patiently in the waiting room, trying to make sense of the situation, the setting, anything. That's when it happened, as he stared off into space he was greeted with reality. It came in a blind of light and he was paralyzed with unsettled emotions. He tumbled to the ground, an action that was happening all too often lately. Closing his eyes he tried to push the memories back but it was all so real. The first thing he saw was a woman in an alley and the look on her face as he sunk his teeth into her flesh. A wave of pain shot through him. All he could see were faces. The faces of nameless people whose lives he snatched away from them, and her face. He could not make out most of the faces but he would never miss hers. The terrified and fearful expression plastered on her delicate features as he contradicted everything she ever thought he was. He could not see through heavy lidded eyes, nor could he muster the strength to open them. His world went dark as the indescribable pain took over his entire being.

Xander was almost there. He had rescued Giles from the mansion and gotten out the back exit. He wanted nothing more than to go back and see if Buffy was ok, but her orders were clear: to get Giles out of the mansion and to safety. In Giles condition the only safe place for him at the time was Sunnydale general. It was obvious he had undergone endless hours of torture under the supervision of Angel. Xander hoped and dreamed of celebrating Buffy's victory, and Angel's death. He had to die, there was no other way to keep his friends safe. Giles did not utter a word, he simply staggered along with Xander into the night, allowing his mind to go blank and sending positive vibes in Buffy's direction. He trusted that she would be alright, even in his condition Buffy was the subject of his concern. A wave of relief washed over them as they entered the hospital and headed towards the waiting room, where the unknown awaited them....

There he sat, frozen and enduring unspeakable torture. His eyes were overflowing with tears, but despite everything he was still focusing his energy on Buffy. He knew he would have to deal with the past later, he had to shut out the memories; he couldn't let any of them return to him, not yet- therefore the identity of Buffy's shooter was not revealed to him. The urge to run away was unbearable, but he couldn't bring himself to leave her. "What if it's too late? What if I lost her? What if she's gone?" His mind raced with impossible questions. It was a task within itself to open his eyes. Buffy. He had to do something...for Buffy!

He slowly lifted himself to his seat and rested his back against the soft velour fabric. He trained his thoughts on Buffy as he centered all of his energy on his senses. He remembered how he used to be able to hear clearly and precisely the inaudible conversations from across a room; the strong aroma he could inhale from the faintest of smells, even the scent of one's skin. How many times had he mentally mocked someone for not bathing because the aroma was all too much for his sensitive nasal passages to handle. An almost half smile crossed his lips remembering the way it felt to linger on Buffy's sent; once or twice he even went as far as to use his acute senses to track her down, like a blood hound. He did not smile though, quite the contrary: he mentally scorned himself for allowing something pleasant to be a part of him now. Clearing his mind he blocked out all of his surroundings, simply focusing on the corridors in the hospital. His senses wandered through the crowded halls, exploring every conversation within radius until finally he zeroed in on the sounds emanating from Buffy's operating room, and the words that would haunt him forever...

To be continued...

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